Three Strikes You're Out
by Randomonium
Summary: In which Temari plays the game and Shikamaru is just clueless. AU, rated for language.


**Three Strikes You're Out**

"Hey, Temari," Shikamaru said.

"Hey!" Temari replied cheerfully.

"Haven't seen you for a while. How've you been?" Shikamaru asked with a rare smile.

Temari rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Life's been crazy. I'm great, thanks, and you?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "Can't complain. Quite content."

"Still spending all your time staring aimlessly at the sky?" she teased and the corners of his lips quirked up.

"It's not aimless, 'Mari. It is constructively working my brain," Shikamaru told her.

Her eyebrows raised delicately. "How so?"

"By thinking."

"Thinking of what?" Temari asked with a grin.

_You. _"Oh, you know." He shrugged. "Life, the universe and everything. The answer's 42."

She suppressed a grin. "You're such a geek," she remarked fondly.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I resent that," he told her, "I've never actively tried to learn anything.

She laughed delightfully. "You know, I have no idea why, but I think I've missed you and your wonderfully dry humor. D'you wanna take a break from pondering the meaning of life and hang out?"

He grimaced. "I can't today, sorry. I've made plans with Ino."

Temari's smile faded slightly and her eyes cooled a little. "Oh." She said. "Ino."

"Hey, I'm sorry. I would've, but y'know, it's Ino, and…" He shrugged.

She shook her head. "No, it's fine. I understand. It's cool. She's also your… uh… your… friend. It's okay. Uh… I mean… I actually…" She gave a short, humorless laugh. "I actually think I'm busy. Uh… yeah. I… uh… I forgot, I've got plans with… with…"

"Shikamaru! There you are, you lazy ass. C'mon, my dad's waiting." Ino came out of nowhere and grabbed his hand, dragging him off. "Bye, Temari!" she called over her shoulder with a wave. He lifted his hand in greeting and Temari waved back, a half smile frozen on her face and her eyes cold and unforgiving.

Ino practically threw Shikamaru in the back seat and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Hi, Shikamaru," Inoichi greeted, putting the car in reverse and pulling out of the carpark. "I'm sorry to rush you, but I have to be somewhere."

"It's okay," Shikamaru said.

Ino twisted around to face him. "Temari looked kinda pissed."

"Language, Ino," Inoichi said mildly.

"Sorry, dad. But what did you say to her?" Ino asked Shikamaru.

"Whaddaya mean? Nothing. Well, nothing to make her angry," Shikamaru amended.

Ino snorted. "Yeah, that's likely. It can't have been nothing. She practically froze me with her eyes. Wait, did you tell her something about me? You didn't tell her it was me who told Kankurou he knocked me up that night, right? Cos that was totally a joke."

"I didn't hear that," Inoichi muttered.

"You did what?" Shikamaru asked incredulously.

"Oh, I didn't tell you about that? Never mind then." Ino waved it away.

"We weren't talking about you. I mean, your name came up, but…" Shikamaru shrugged.

"If my name came up you were talking about me," Ino said.

"I just told her I couldn't hang out today cos I'd already made plans with you. And, well, I can't exactly blow you off because it's you, and I'd end up paying hectically. And you're my ride home."

"Oh great. So you told her you can't hang out with her because I'm a tyrannical hag," Ino sighed.

"Well, I said I couldn't cancel because it's you." Shikamaru shrugged. "Same thing, really."

Ino waved her hands to shut him up, her brow wrinkled. "Wait, wait, wait. Lemme get this straight. You told Temari- who you love-"

"I don't love her, I just-" Shikamaru started.

"Whatever. You told her you couldn't spend time with her because you'd made plans with me, another girl. And you couldn't break plans just because it's me," Ino clarified.

"Yeah," Shikamaru confirmed, then looked questioningly at Inoichi, who was shaking his head slightly.

"Why didn't you invite her along?" Ino wailed.

"She said that she had plans she'd forgotten," Shikamaru told her.

Ino narrowed her eyes. "Plans with who?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "She didn't say."

There was silence as Ino glared at him for unexplained reasons. "Shikamaru?"

"Yeah?" he asked.

"You're a fucking idiot- sorry, dad." Ino promptly faced forward.

"Why do I even bother?" Inoichi sighed, raising his eyes skyward.

--

Shikamaru concentrated hard as he manipulated the joystick and mangled buttons on the old arcade game as his character made it's way through the maze of walls, pits and unexpected dangers. He was quite close to winning the game, just a little-

He groaned as his character was engulfed in a storm of fire emitted from a blasted dragon's snout.

He reappeared at the beginning of the (bloody hard) level as one of the life symbols in the top corner disappeared.

_Strike one._

--

"Shikamaru, you're drunk," Ino laughed at Shikamaru stumbling around.

"'S Kiba's fault," Shikamaru mumbled- Kiba had declared that Shikamaru thought too much and forced drinks down his throat within minutes of Shikamaru's arrival at the increasingly rowdy house party.

"Hey, look, there's Temari!" Ino shouted, distracted by something over Shikamaru's shoulder.

"Where?" Shikamaru asked, spinning around, resulting in him losing his balance and stumbling over his feet. He flung out a hand and grabbed onto something until his head stopped spinning quite so much. He moved his hand a bit, trying to figure out what he's grabbed- whatever it was, it was warm and soft. He looked at his hand, attempting to decipher this mystery. A sharply cleared throat caused him to raise his eyes. They traveled down to his hand and up to Temari's face again.

"I'm holding your boob," he informed her.

"Yes, you are," she confirmed.

He pondered this for a little while. "Can I see it?" he asked suddenly.

Her eyebrows shot up. "Can you see what?" she asked cautiously.

"Your boob!" he exclaimed.

"What? No," Temari said, pushing his hand away.

"No, wait, Temari. Temari, just…" Shikamaru took a second to steady himself once held confirmed Temari had stopped and was listening.

"You're really hot," he told her, "Like, really, really hot. And I wanna like- wanna like- I wanna fuck you. Like, a lot."

"Shikamaru, you're shit-faced," Temari told him and turned to walk away.

Shikamaru launched forward unsteadily and grabbed her arm. "Wait, wait, Temari, wait. Wait." He rested his forehead on her shoulder, gripping it with his right hand. "Temari," he repeated.

"What?" she asked, sounding faintly annoyed.

With some difficulty, he lifted his head to look at her. He didn't quite manage to look her in the eyes- his haze was somewhere on his nose. "Look. Look, okay, you're… you're hot. And… and… look, okay, T-Temari, okay, listen. Listen, okay, so, look-"

"You're very annoying when you're drunk," Temari interrupted.

He looked at her in slight surprise. "What? No, doesn't." He waved his left hand vaguely and shook his head slightly. "Temari. Temari. Listen. Okay. So… so, you're hot and… and your boob's soft… like, cushion soft… so… Temari, Temari, let's…" he swayed forward, his chin almost on her shoulder, his nose nearly colliding with her ear. "Let's have sex," he whispered.

Temari jerked away. "Shikamaru-"

"No, no, no, listen. Temaru, listen," he insisted, still holding onto her shoulder. "Okay, listen. Because, you're like… you're hot, right? And… and your boob's like really, really soft and squishy, right? And I'm sorta like… I'm like kinda sorta really horny, and… and… so, so I think we should. Like. Have sex. Us. Because I… well, I- I want to sex, okay, and you're like… you're like hot and… and here… you're here. And… and it… Temari, Temari, it doesn't have to, like… go… um… go, like, further than… than tonight, but I… I really wanna fuck you right now, like wow." He finished and stood waiting for an answer, swaying slightly.

He didn't see it coming.

Her palm collided painfully with his cheek, shocking him momentarily into sober thinking.

"You're a stupid asshole, Shikamaru," Temari spat and stormed off, leaving Shikamaru holding his burning cheek.

--

Shikamaru was muttering a continuous mantra under his breath as his character jumped over the various obstacles in his way. He killed a monster and continued forward, missing chasms by almost no space at all. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath at times, although the muttering never stopped.

Abruptly, it did. Shikamaru let out a muttered 'fuck' as he found himself back at the beginning of the level again thanks to a chasm full of spikes he had not managed to clear. The second life symbol disappeared, leaving that corner empty.

_Strike two._

--

"Shikamaru, hey!" Temari greeted cheerily.

"Temari, hi. Wow. You look… you look great," Shikamaru said, looking at her chosen outfit. It's not that she didn't always look great, she just looked better than usual. And… was that make-up?

She grinned widely. "Thanks," she replied.

"Why're you looking so dressed up, anyway?" Shikamaru asked.

"Oh, uh… well, my love life was pretty much nonexistent, y'know, so when Kiba asked me out I figured… well, why not?" She shrugged, and Shikamaru fought hard to keep the smile on his face. Not many people knew how well he could hide his emotions- which simply proved just how good he was at it.

"Oh, so you're here on a date with… Kiba?" Shikamaru said, keeping his tone and expression happy. Temari's smile faded slightly for a fraction of a second, and then was back.

"Yeah. I mean, it's not like anyone else has asked me out or anything, so I am _technically _available, y'know?" Temari pointed out.

"So you like him, then? I didn't… I just never thought that you were… uh… that you were interested in him," Shikamaru told her.

"Well… he's pretty cute. And y'know, he seems to have had quite a lot of experience in the… uh… bedroom department, which could be interesting." Her eyes sparkled lightly as she waggled her eyebrows at him.

Shikamaru gave a short laugh. "Yeah, I…" He trailed off as images of her naked and moaning in Kiba's arms played out in his mind's eye, making him feel sick with jealousy.

Her smile faded and died at his lack of reaction. "It'll make a nice change, y'know, because my love life has been so dead it's just been me and my hand for quite a while now," she added brutally.

Shikamaru's eyes popped open and he gave a small cough of surprise. The sickening images in hid mind were replaced by more appealing one- Temari was still naked and moaning, but she was alone and… pleasuring herself. Not for the first time, Shikamaru cursed his vivid imagination as his mouth went dry and he was filled with want.

"Wow, Temari… a little… don't you think you're maybe oversharing a little?" Shikamaru laughed nervously, trying to quell his lust.

"No, not really," she said quite sharply, "I mean, it's not as if you've ever shown any romantic interest in me. You're just a … good friend." Her words cut him, although he figured that's what it would seem like. He didn't understand why she was almost glaring at him.

"Yeah, I guess so," he replied, working harder than usual to keep his tone good-natured.

"Yeah," she muttered. "Well, I have to go now, Kiba's waiting. It's not nice to keep your _date _waiting." She was enunciating certain words, as if to purposefully break him.

"Yeah no, of course. I completely understand. Kiba's a great guy, once you get past the philandering, I think you'll have a great time. You have fun, okay? I guess I'll see you around." Shikamaru forced himself to sound truly happy for her, just as her forced a smile onto his face.

Temari's smile had completely disappeared, and inexplicably (to him) her eyes were filled with hurt and disappointment before they hardened into anger and stony resolve. Without uttering another word, she whirled around and stormed off to where Kiba was waiting. She grabbed his collar and pulled him into a hard kiss (causing Kiba to look very surprised and highly confused) before throwing one last glare at Shikamaru and dragging Kiba off. Shikamaru watched them go, throwing numerous glances at Shikamaru and talking hurriedly to Temari. When Temari bit out a reply, Kiba looked astonished and then, much to Shikamaru's surprise, also glared at him.

_Shikamaru, you __**idiot. **_

--

Shikamaru cursed colorfully as his hand slipped and his character died for the final time, literally inches away from completing the game.

_Strike three._

It wasn't his day, he thought as his fist slowly unclenched.

He couldn't concentrate, and somewhere in this circus of shops and entertainment, Temari was probably having a marvelous time on her _date _with Kiba.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and walked moodily away from the letters flashing luridly on the screen behind him

_Game Over._

His mind flew as he dwelled on his recent meeting with Temari and her weird behaviour.

Slowly, he drew to a halt as he fingered something in his pocket and everything fell into place.

His face gradually stretched into a grin before he took out the coin he'd been fiddling with, flipped it and turned back to the game.

He'd worked it out. And now…

He just had to try again.

-END-

**A/N: Pssh, I know, I should be writing NRaM. Or actually doing my LO project. Fuck, I'll get to that now. **

**I am bloody exhausted. I've been busy since Friday setting up for hostel dance (it was last night, theme Great Gatsby, it was awesome, my grade ROCKS for organizing the best hostel dance ever) and then we tidied up now- wow that was funny. I got into bed at about half past twelve last night, woke up at 7:30 this morning, fell asleep again- and then next thing the intercom goes off: "grade eleven's please come downstairs now, we have to clean up the Thompson Hall, come now". It woke me up and I literally shot out of bed. But I fucked up my ankle somehow (probably those fucking high heels which I ditched within about 20 minutes last night) and dropped a display board on my foot. So now it hurts. But oh well.**

**This story… sorta got inspired by the Breaking Benjamin song 'No Games'. Don't ask how this evolved, it just did. I imagined it quite differently though… but oh well, it came out okay. Just to clarify, Kiba and Temari weren't really on a date, they conspired that to try make Shikamaru jealous. Yeah.**

**Anyway, please review! I hope you enjoyed it. **

… **I'm going to fall asleep on my keyboard. **


End file.
